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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093421">you want a crown, take it yourself</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizhly/pseuds/Lizhly'>Lizhly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>this is not the ideal scenario [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug, 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, characters too, did not think this through, human!bihyung, i am making up so much lore guys, they'll be added when they show up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 03:29:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizhly/pseuds/Lizhly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The ideal scenario involving magical jewelry that grants unimaginable power is that whoever wields it is  an altruist with an amazing moral compass that is perfectly willing and able to use said unimaginable power for the good of mankind. The depressing, far more likely scenario is that someone gets their hands on a magical jewel, sees just what kind of havoc they can wreak with it, and thinks: what can I do with more?</p><p>There are a couple teenagers who are perfectly incognizant of the fact that this is now about to be their problem.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>this is not the ideal scenario [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you want a crown, take it yourself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yoo Bihyung’s dreams run on a theme these days, stars and brightly-colored animals and jewelry.Earrings and rings and necklaces and bracelets and pretty things falling through his fingers.Most of the time, he wakes up with his hands still outstretched.</p><p>He’d been watching stars fall, waiting for the dust and fire to settle before he could scramble forward and reach for the white-hot metal at their hearts.He’d <em>wanted</em>, more than anything.</p><p>Now, what he’d wanted exactly — that had been unclear.He used to try to remember, at first, with the typical, mild curiosity anyone has towards a mildly interesting dream. He doesn’t bother anymore.He doesn’t need to, not when he has those dreams so often that they start leaking into his waking hours.</p><p>He catches his mind wandering in class, dreaming of <em>stardust starfire starmetal,</em> and only barely manages to sit up straight and smile to answer his teacher’s questions as he wonders <em>what’s going on. </em></p><p>There’s something in the back of his mind that scoffs, says that he knows exactly what’s going on.He <em>knows </em>what he’s remembering, he <em>knows</em> what he’s missing, he <em>knows </em>what he needs to do — !</p><p>His notes remain perfect and neat, which is why it takes him a while to realize when they start trailing off into nonsense.Perfectly decipherable handwriting — <em>his </em>perfectly decipherable handwriting — going on and on about temples and guardians and stars, color-coded with main topics boxed in perfectly straight lines and captioned diagrams, as if <em>any of it </em>is supposed to make sense.</p><p>Bihyung starts missing time. He blinks back dreams of falling stars and hidden knowledge to find it hours past what he’d thought it happened to be, finds himself in places he doesn’t remember walking to, finds himself with fiddling with bits of metal that, as far as he’s concerned, appear out of absolutely nowhere.</p><p>One time, he wakes up with a pair of earrings in his hands, with his head whispering that <em>this </em>is important, that <em>this </em>is what can start off a war, and they aren’t for you to hold, but for you to <em>choose </em>someone to hold them for you, don’t you remember?</p><p>In what is becoming true form, Bihyung has <em>no idea </em>where he got them from.</p><p>They’re round studs.Bright red, black dots, kind of like ladybugs.Not something he’d ever notice, let alone pay money for, if he ever passed them in a store.</p><p>Bihyung chucks them out the nearest window.</p><p>It doesn’t do him any good.They’re there the next time he checks his pockets for a pen.After he calmly drops them off at the lost-and-found, he finds them next to his bed. No matter how many times he gets rid of them, they always come back. </p><p>The bottom of his coffee mug.In his shoes.Clipped onto his uniform tie.<em>Directly in his hands, </em>like he’d never gotten rid of them at all.</p><p>He knows he can’t do this forever.It’s unsustainable, and the longer he delays, the worse things could get.He needs to choose, because that’s what he’s meant to do.He is, after all, a —</p><p>Bihyung shakes his head, lets the unwanted knowledge drip from his mind, and goes on with his day.</p>
<hr/><p>Stars get bored.There is only so much you can do as a <em>constellation</em>.So much power, but so little you can actually touch from a sky filled only with other stars.The mortal world is fascinating, by comparison.Who wouldn’t want to touch something so chaotic, so vibrant?</p><p>But there is only so much influence you can exert over the earth as a star.To see something more <em>direct</em>, there’s a price to pay. </p><p>There are people who can broker a deal with you.They will smile and they will tangle their fingers into your <em>stardust starfire starmetal</em>, and they will make something out of you that is <em>lesser </em>than what you were before.Lesser, but something that mortals can hold without burning themselves to a crisp on your light.</p><p>This is what will make the world burn.</p><p>You may not intend it, but you are <em>power, </em>and by becoming lesser, you become power that can be wielded, and with that, there will be <em>war. </em>There <em>has </em>been war, there is<em> always </em>war when you’re in play, because everyone has a reason to get their hands on power and nothing comes for free, and the world will <em>burn</em> and you will watch, delighted, for this is a direct sign of your influence and isn’t it <em>entertaining </em>seeing your power be used for the sake of —</p><p>Bihyung gets hit in the back of the head.</p><p>“You want to die?” Bihyung barks out at the perfectly unrepentant face of underclassman Kim Dokja.</p><p>Kim Dokja doesn’t look anywhere as scared as a boy who just hit someone older, bigger, and stronger than him should. But that’s Kim Dokja for you; fear is a weak suggestion, not a logical reaction to doing something stupid.At least when it comes to Bihyung, anyway.Apparently.</p><p>Bihyung accepts that Kim Dokja doesn’t feel fear at the sight of him with ill grace, and says, “What was that for?”</p><p>“You’ve been unresponsive for the past hour,” Kim Dokja says matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Don’t lie to me,” Bihyung says on automatic.But unless Kim Dokja has decided to mess with him just today —coincidentally only today — there’s no real reason to lie to Bihyung. </p><p>He’s always managed to snap out of it when someone says his name.It’s clearly not the case now if he’s really been <em>unresponsive for the past hour</em>.Does that mean Kim Dokja has really been calling out his name for an entire hour?</p><p>This can’t go on.It won’t go on, not if he finally chooses someone to —</p><p>Bihyung pauses.Looks down.</p><p>There’s a couple sheets of neatly-written nonsense notes in front of him.More importantly, <em>those </em>earrings are shining tauntingly in his hands, because <em>of course</em> they do.</p><p>How is this even possible.He’s tossed them every time he figures out he <em>has </em>them, there shouldn’t be a way for him to even get them back unless he goes out of his way to find them every time he blanks out, and there’s <em>no way </em>he wouldn’t have noticed that. Maybe he’s just <em>hallucinating </em>them, that would make sense, right?None of this is real, the earrings are a figment of his imagination, he’s delusional, and he’s just — just <em>reimagining </em>them every time he blanks out, because —</p><p>“Yoo Bihyung,” says Kim Dokja.“Are you.Okay.”</p><p>“Who are you to be asking me something like that?I’m <em>not crazy,” </em>Bihyung snaps.</p><p>Kim Dokja pauses.“I… didn’t say you were.” </p><p>“… Of course you didn’t.Because nothing of the sort is happening.”</p><p>“Right,” says Kim Dokja in the voice of a person who absolutely does not believe a single word Bihyung is saying.“That’s why you’ve spent five minutes staring at some earrings.”</p><p>Bihyung had lost another <em>five minutes</em>?</p><p>“Do you know how many times I’ve called your name?” Kim Dokja says offhandedly, like he’s only asking a question instead of accusing Bihyung of losing his sanity.“I’ve made direct eye-contact with you, you know, and you didn’t even respond once.It’s awkward.”</p><p>“It’s none of your business, is it.”</p><p>Kim Dokja shrugs.“It’s none of my business,” he says agreeably.“Your face just naturally looks like you’re about to have a panic attack.That’s all.Red isn’t your color, by the way.”</p><p>This <em>underclassman</em>.</p><p>“There is <em>nothing </em>wrong with me<em>.”</em></p><p>“Yoo Bihyung —”</p><p>“Shut <em>up</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Yoo Bihyung, </em>what’s that in your hand?”</p><p>“What do you mean, what’s <em>in my</em> —” Bihyung cuts himself off as he looks down at his clenched fist.There’s light showing between his fingers, getting brighter and brighter the longer he stares at it. </p><p>That’s.That’s decidedly not normal.</p><p>“What,” says Yoo Bihyung.</p><p>“Yeah,” says Kim Dokja.</p><p>There is a sudden burst of pink light.</p>
<hr/><p>If Kim Dokja was forced to say <em>something</em> about his life, he’d probably bring up the fact that he’s alive in the first place.There really isn’t much else to say.The life of Kim Dokja is like being namedropped in one of those trashy webnovels he picks up sometimes; you get a name and a reminder that this character exists, and that’s it. </p><p>Dokja’s life is fine, it’s whatever, it’s boring.He’s the NPC with the one-sentence tragic backstory to unlock, but people talk about it so much on the Internet that there’s no point in talking to him to hear it, especially since it’s the only interesting thing about him.He exists in a state of terrible mediocrity, or maybe mediocre terribleness, if that’s how you like to phrase it.It’d be nice to have a more interesting story than that, but it’s not like he expects one to come his way.</p><p>Then again, he <em>also</em> doesn’t expect to get hit with a bright pink flashbang, but here he is.</p><p>Something clinks onto the floor— maybe those earrings Yoo Bihyung had been holding — and then Yoo Bihyung makes a noise like steam escaping a kettle.“<em>What</em>,” he screeches, sounding a lot like his grasp on reality has unraveled, which, fair.“What <em>is</em> this?H-how can this —?”</p><p>“Where are we?” says… another voice.</p><p>There shouldn’t be another voice here.</p><p>Kim Dokja blinks flashing spots out his vision to see a tiny red <em>thing </em>floating in the air.It looks like some very cute, brightly-colored children’s toy, a cartoonishly undetailed big-headed kkoma blinking back at him with huge blue eyes.</p><p>“I’m not imaginative enough to come up with something like you,” Dokja says blankly.</p><p>The kkoma tilts its head at him questioningly.“I’m… sorry?”</p><p>“Those <em>earrings</em>,” Yoo Bihyung seethes, rubbing at his eyes.“Of course it would be those earrings — Kim Dokja, are you— ” He catches sight of the kkoma and stops short, mouth still open.</p><p>“Hi,” says the kkoma.</p><p>Yoo Bihyung screams. The kkoma screams. Kim Dokja screams.</p><p>This is not the most dignified of moments for anyone involved.</p><p>“Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” says the kkoma after it stops screaming<em>.</em>“I’m sure if we all calm down—”</p><p>“And it <em>talks,”</em> Yoo Bihyung hisses, mouth curling into a tight smile.“Kim Dokja, <em>you</em> are seeing this too?”</p><p>Kim Dokja nods mutely.</p><p>“If you could tell me where I am,” it says.</p><p>“Unfortunately,”Yoo Bihyung narrows his eyes at it and hefts his textbook,“I have no interest in talking with you. Hold still.”</p><p>“Listen, I know things might seem a bit strange —” it dodges out of the way of the textbook “ — <em>please </em>stop trying to hit me — I’m just as confused as you are—”</p><p>“That isn’t likely!”</p><p>If anyone had asked him how he thought the day was going to go when he woke up, Kim Dokja <em>very </em>much would not have imagined watching Yoo Bihyung running around a tiny room trying to smash a red fairy-type cartoon creature with a textbook. </p><p>“Will it make you feel better if you actually hit me?”</p><p>“Of course!”</p><p>The kkoma abruptly stops moving.The textbook slams into it and the desk at full force with a puff of pink glitter.Bihyung stares blankly at it, seemingly at a loss now that he’s accomplished what he’s spent so much energy trying to do.</p><p>“…Did you kill it?”</p><p>“… No.It shouldn’t be able to be killed by brute force like this. To kill something like <em>that, </em>you needmore…” Yoo Bihyung frowns.“…Probability?”</p><p>“What does that mean.”</p><p>“I don’t—” Yoo Bihyung cuts himself off, his expression troubled.He flips open the textbook.Kim Dokja cranes his head over Yoo Bihyung’s shoulder to find the kkoma half-phased through the pages.</p><p>“Do you feel better?” it asks.</p><p>“No,” says Yoo Bihyung.</p><p>“What <em>are </em>you,” says Kim Dokja.</p><p>The kkoma eyes him with as much skepticism as its cutely undetailed face can muster, and seems to come to a decision. “My name is Tikki,” it says.“I’m a kwami.”</p><p>“Kwami?” Dokja ventures.</p><p>Yoo Bihyung splays a hand over his eyes.“Tiny magic star jewel creature that grants wishes and magical powers,” he says, sounding mildly pained.It’s absolutely the most ridiculous thing Dokja has ever heard him say to date.</p><p>“…Have you been watching too many magical girl shows?”</p><p>Yoo Bihyung makes a disgusted noise.“It would make <em>sense </em>if I did, wouldn’t it?”</p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘magic star jewel creature’,” Tikki says thoughtfully, “but that’s not too far off.”</p><p>Dokja squints.“…You’re saying you make magical girls.With the transformation sequence and everything.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t believe I follow.There <em>is </em>what I suppose you’d call a transformation sequence, but I’m not sure what you mean by magical girl?”</p><p>“Love and justice and fighting evil by moonlight.”</p><p>Tikki hums.“Not <em>necessarily</em> by moonlight, but yes.”</p><p>Right.Okay. </p><p>On one hand, this is <em>exciting</em>.Kim Dokja can practically see an outline of a plot and an adventure waiting to happen, the kind that books always promised to small children, the sort of escape that he’d hoped for and <em>kept </em>hoping for until he got old enough to think that his life would amount to nothing but his parents’ legacy hanging over his head.This, he <em>wants.</em></p><p>…On the other hand, this means Kim Dokja’s life is a magical girl show. </p><p>Why? Was he supposed to guess that somehow?He’d already accepted that realism was the genre of his life, so something like tragedy or comedy or slice-of-life wouldn’t be too much of a stretch, and it would be <em>great</em> if it switched to fantasy or sci-fi, but <em>magical girl? </em>A subgenre? A subgenre like <em>that?</em>That’s so <em>needlessly specific.</em></p><p>You know what, it’s fine.It’s whatever.Kim Dokja can suppress his instinctive disbelief and <em>deal</em>, because that’s what he’s good at, and move on to that question that’s always in the back of his mind whenever he reads anything: what would I do if I was in this story?</p><p>Kim Dokja can think of a few things.</p><p>“Great,” he says.“Does that mean that there’s an evil to fight that’s putting us all in danger?”</p><p>That’s how it normally goes, isn’t it?Bestower of magical powers finds a normal teenager and tells them that, for some reason, <em>they </em>are the Chosen One and <em>they </em>are the only one who can save the world from some vaguely defined evil or something. </p><p>Tikki hesitates, which is <em>concerning</em>, but before Dokja can say anything about it, Yoo Bihyung decides that this is the perfect moment to start debating <em>semantics.</em> </p><p>“Evil is a subjective term,” Yoo Bihyung says, hand still over his eyes.“What one person might define ‘good’, the system might define evil, and vice versa. You’re being insufficiently clear.”</p><p>Dokja frowns.“I’m not being insufficiently clear if you know exactly what I mean.”</p><p>“Who said I know exactly what you mean, huh?”</p><p>“I thought ‘putting us all in danger’ was really clear, actually —”</p><p>“How did you get my earrings?” Tikki says, evidently completely and utterly done with the previous conversation.</p><p>At that, Yoo Bihyung straightens up, chin raised high, smile dangerously sharp, and Dokja takes a neat step back because it is a brilliant time to get out of the line of fire, <em>especially</em> since it’s not aimed at him. </p><p>“<em>Your earrings? </em>You mean you don’t know?I woke up with them in my hands one day. Like they <em>came out of nowhere.</em>”</p><p>…That’s right.Those earrings, they’re probably important.Maybe some kind of transformation item? Yoo Bihyung <em>had </em>dropped them around here, hadn’t he?</p><p>“When you say in your hands, do you mean <em>directly</em> in your hands?I don’t—”</p><p>It’s not like they’re hard to find.They might be small, but they’re such a bright reflective red, they’re hard to miss.They heat up and go dull the moment he picks them up, muted silver overtaking the surface.</p><p>“—and no matter how many times I got rid of them, they kept coming back,” Yoo Bihyung snarls, his voice steadily rising.“I <em>threw them into the sewers</em> and they were there the next day <em>pinned to my shirt</em>.It’s been <em>weeks, </em>do you know how <em>paranoid </em>I’ve been?”</p><p>…Hmm.</p><p>“Are you saying you were being stalked by a pair of earrings?” Dokja interjects.</p><p>Yoo Bihyung, <em>predictably,</em> takes no notice, focused as he is on the tiny red kkoma that is Tikki, who has its brow furrowed as it opens its mouth to reply. “That’s not… normal behavior, you shouldn’t have—”</p><p>“What did you <em>expect</em>,” Yoo Bihyung sneers.“Some old monk trained by a secret order of guardians that would wrap it up some kind of miracle box and sneak it into my room?”</p><p>“I don’t—”</p><p>“What <em>is it </em>they say?I know!‘<em>Yoo Bihyung</em>, this is the Miraculous of the Ladybug, which grants the power of creation, and you will use it for the greater good — ’”</p><p>“Are you actually —”</p><p>“And I’ll dress up like a <em>ladybug</em> and going swinging around Seoul trying to—”</p><p>“You’re a Guardian,” Tikki gasps, tiny hands-less arms going up to cover its mouth.</p><p>That actually gets Yoo Bihyung to pause mid-rant, expression twitching before it abruptly flattens out like he’d never been angry to begin with.“I wasn’t raised in a monastery,” he scoffs, which makes about as much sense as everything else that’s happened so far.</p><p>Tikki circles around Yoo Bihyung’s head, and says, “In the best case scenario, Guardians are taught.But sometimes, they’re born.Don’t you think you know a little too much to be normal?”</p><p>…Ah, so it’s <em>Yoo Bihyung </em>who’s the Chosen One in this story.<em>Yoo Bihyung </em>is the one fated to save the world, and that makes Kim Dokja…. he doesn’t know, some variety of supporting character.That’s… a little disappointing.It’s not like he’s always wanted to be the protagonist in a magical girl show, but the fact that even in <em>this </em>weird daydream-like turn his life has taken, he still can’t be important enough for that?</p><p>Well.Bright side: at least he isn’t the one who needs to wear the magical girl dress.</p><p>“Just how are you defining normal?” Yoo Bihyung says flatly.“‘Normality’ is determined by the majority of the population, so how would <em>you </em>know?Do you know how long you have been inside those <em>earrings</em>?”</p><p>“I don’t.But I think <em>you </em>do.”</p><p>“<em>Do I, now.</em>”</p><p>“Do you know what happened to the Black Cat Miraculous?You had <em>mine</em>, so—”</p><p>“I’m sorry to disappoint, but I don’t <em>actually </em>know everything you think I should —”</p><p>This sort of revelation is actually kind of boring when you’re not participating in it.</p><p>“<em>Great</em>,” Kim Dokja repeats loudly.“Are you done talking among yourselves?”</p><p>In an eerily synchronized movement, Yoo Bihyung and Tikki turn their heads and stare at him in unison.</p><p>“What is it,” says Yoo Bihyung.</p><p>“Is there something you need?” says Tikki.</p><p>“You grant magical powers, Yoo Bihyung is special, and you probably need him to save the world, is that right?” Dokja rattles off.“Does the world <em>need to be saved</em> from something in particular?”</p><p>A pause.“Not… necessarily,” says Tikki, and <em>there’s</em> that very concerning hesitation again.</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean.”</p><p>Tikki opens its mouth.Closes its mouth.Glances over at Yoo Bihyung.</p><p>“Why are you looking at me?” Yoo Bihyung says sourly.“Are you waiting for some sort of direction?Are you implying you will actually do what I say?”</p><p>Tikki makes a face and turns back to Dokja.“There are others like me.They feel like they’re awake, and if they’re awake, it’s likely they’re being used.”</p><p>“And they don’t <em>have </em>to be used for good.”</p><p>Tikki sighs.“Unfortunately, yes.”</p><p>Right. “That Black Cat you mentioned,” Dokja says experimentally. </p><p>“Yes, he’s another kwami,” Tikki says.“I can feel he’s active.”</p><p>“He also does magic powers and magic transformation?”</p><p>“Well, yes.”</p><p>“A black cat transformation?” Dokja presses.“Because someone using the Black Cat Miraculous would end up dressed like a black cat?”</p><p>“You know that already,” Yoo Bihyung says, eyes narrowing.“What’s the point of asking for information you already know?Are you trying to get at something?”</p><p>As a matter of fact, Kim Dokja <em>is </em>trying to get at something.It’s not like he <em>knows </em>what all this magic business is about, but there’s something about <em>black cat</em> and <em>incomprehensible power </em>that’s ringing a bell.</p><p>“I’m just asking to clarify, can’t I do that?” Dokja says.“I’m just making sure that if someone <em>suddenly </em>started wearing a black cat costume, for no apparent reason—”</p><p>“It might be something they’re into,” Yoo Bihyung says immediately. </p><p>Tikki gasps, all offended indignation. This does not in any way stop Yoo Bihyung.</p><p>“It’s their private life, Kim Dokja,” Yoo Bihyung says sagely.“No matter how weird it is, it isn’t technically something you should look into just because you think they have magic powers.If you are <em>going </em>to look into it, you should do it because it’s too interesting not to check out and —”</p><p>Kim Dokja doesn’t need this sort of advice.</p><p>“<em>Yoo Bihyung. </em>You don’t remember Choi Hangyu?”</p><p>“Choi Hangyu — is that the terrorist?Why do you bring him up?”</p><p>“…You’ve been out of it for a while, so I’ll forgive you for not knowing.”</p><p>“…Shut up and say it quickly.”</p><p>“<em>He’s </em>the one who’s been dressing like a black cat lately.”</p><p>“…Haha, are you serious?There’s no way—”</p><p>“Here,” says Dokja, turning his phone screen towards them.</p><p>Pictured upon it is Choi Hangyu wreathed in black smoke in the center of a destroyed subway station.It’s a well-shot photo, very cinematic; the photographer must have had no sense of self-preservation to get a picture this good.Choi Hangyu is in sharp relief, caught with his head thrown back in mid-laugh.</p><p>He is also unmistakably in a black cat costume. </p><p>“Oh,” Yoo Bihyung says.“Hmm.”</p><p>“It’s been all over the news, I’m surprised you haven’t heard even a little bit about this.”</p><p>“Plagg’s being used by a terrorist?” Tikki says, aghast.</p><p>“Just because he’s wearing a black cat costume doesn’t mean that he’s using the Black Cat miraculous,” Yoo Bihyung says.“It’s <em>strange</em>, but that doesn’t mean—”</p><p>Kim Dokja switches tabs to show the <em>other </em>picture — the same subway station, the black smoke cleared enough to show the full-scale destruction. </p><p>“The damage he’s been doing is worse,” Dokja says.“That’s the obvious thing.But the actual damage doesn’t <em>look </em>to have been done by an explosive. It seems to be a black corrosive, but no one’s managed to figure out the chemical makeup of it.They think there’s definitely some kind of hallucinogen involved, though, because witnesses say that anything Choi Hangyu touched started decaying right in front of them, and corrosives don’t work <em>that </em>fast.”</p><p>Dokja calmly places his phone back into his pocket and says, “Does that sound like your Black Cat?”</p><p>Judging by Bihyung and Tikki’s matching horrified expressions, it sounds <em>a lot </em>like their Black Cat.</p><p>“That’s <em>Cataclysm</em>,” says Tikki.“How did — Plagg wouldn’t have said, was there another Guardian who —?” </p><p>“He’s being so <em>public </em>about it,” Yoo Bihyung says, hand over his eyes.“What a way to use infinite probability.With <em>Black Cat </em>too.At this rate, he’ll end up kicking off another possession war, or—”</p><p>“And he has the <em>Black Cat</em>, he’s misusing the <em>Black Cat </em>of all possible Miraculous, if he had to find one why did it have to be —”</p><p>They stop.Stare at each other.</p><p>“You know what I’m talking about,” Tikki says.</p><p>Yoo Bihyung grimaces.“What if I do.”</p><p>“I was really hoping you were going to say that he <em>didn’t </em>have magic powers,” says Dokja, apparently completely unnoticed by the two of them.</p><p>“You know this can’t go on.A <em>actual</em> <em>terrorist</em>, with the power of destruction?Can you see how <em>bad </em>that would be?”</p><p>“I <em>know, </em>but what do you <em>expect </em>me to do about it?”</p><p>“You mentioned dressing up like a ladybug and swinging around Seoul,” Dokja says dryly.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Yoo Bihyung, don’t shirk your responsibilities.”Dokja shoves the earrings in front of Yoo Bihyung’s repulsed face.“Put on the magic earrings and save the world.”</p><p>“I won’t,” Yoo Bihyung says, which Dokja expected.</p><p>“He shouldn’t,” Tikki says at the same time, which Dokja did not.</p><p>“…Why?”</p><p>“You think I would <em>put those on</em>?” Yoo Bihyung scoffs, which, again, fair, but unhelpful.</p><p>Dokja turns pointedly towards Tikki.“What do you mean, he <em>shouldn’t</em>.”</p><p>“It would be different if he’d been <em>taught </em>as a Guardian, but—” Tikki shakes its head.“Born Guardians don’t wield Miraculous well.It’s not <em>impossible </em>for him to take it up, but… he wouldn’t be the best choice.A born Guardian should wield a Miraculous only in the <em>absolute </em>worst case scenario.”</p><p>“<em>Thank you</em>,” Yoo Bihyung sneers, crossing his arms.</p><p>Right, okay, this is not the direction Dokja thought this was going to go.</p><p>“So now what,” Dokja says.“Do I just give these back to you and you fly off and figure something else out?”</p><p>“Sure, let’s go ahead with that,” Yoo Bihyung says.</p><p>“Actually,” says Tikki slowly.</p><p>“<em>Actually?</em>” says Yoo Bihyung.</p><p>“I activated when you were around <em>him,</em>” Tikki says, flitting over to Dokja’s head.“He’s <em>your </em>Chosen, isn’t he?”</p><p>“Uh,” Dokja says.This is <em>really </em>not the direction he thought this was going to go.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” Yoo Bihyung sputters.“What are you trying to say?”</p><p>“We <em>need</em> to save Plagg.”</p><p>“What does that have to do with <em>him</em>?Furthermore, who’s ‘we’?” Yoo Bihyung hisses back.“The Black Cat is <em>your </em>partner, do it yourself.It’s unreasonable to expect teenagers to solve something like this.”</p><p>“You know it doesn’t work like that,” Tikki says reprovingly.</p><p>Dokja, very quietly, begins to laugh. </p><p>Really, seriously, what is this.What is his life.</p><p>His life is a magical girl show and he is the protagonist. Or at least, he has the role offered to him on a silver platter, and all he has to do to make it official is say ‘yes’. </p><p>“—so you expect me to throw an underclassman like him out there against a terrorist?” Yoo Bihyung says.</p><p>“You’re not throwing an underclassman against a terrorist if I throw <em>myself</em> against a terrorist,” Dokja says.</p><p>There is a pause.</p><p>“Did I hear that correctly?” Yoo Bihyung says, aggravated. “It isn’t my business if you want to risk your life, but does this <em>actually </em>seem like a good idea to you? Have you taken too many hits to the head?”</p><p>Well, if Dokja were being perfectly honest, it <em>doesn’t </em>sound like a good idea.This is a serious situation.Dokja is fourteen and scrawny and kind of pathetic and probably not in any way equipped to go against a fully grown man with magical powers and no qualms about property damage and murder.</p><p>But that’s the thing. Kim Dokja is a scrawny, pathetic bit of nothing.That’s objective fact.He knows it, everyone knows it, and he’s been resigned to the idea that he’ll never be important enough to anyone to amount to anything more.He can work harder and smarter all he likes, but it doesn’t change what he <em>is</em>.</p><p>This, though.This is the idea that he could escape that —the idea that he could do something else, <em>be </em>anything else.<em>This </em>is having the power to jump into the thick of it and <em>actually </em>making a difference, not trying to fight back against bullies and having nothing to show for it besides bruises and mocking laughter. </p><p>So what if he’s risking his life?It’s not like his life is that wonderful to begin with. </p><p>“You’re going to do it?” says Tikki hopefully.“You’ll recover the Black Cat Miraculous?”</p><p>If Dokja does it and does it right, he’ll be a hero.If it goes horribly, horribly wrong, it won’t be his problem anymore.</p><p>Out loud, Dokja says, “Do I have to wear a dress?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This has been sitting in the back of my mind for about a year, pretty much ever since ORV discord tried discussing miraculous ladybug au.  Originally, I started off with Bihyung being Kim Dokja's half brother and eventually taking custody AND THEN getting into plot, but then I read 200+ chapters and the epilogue and... went off in an entirely different direction. </p><p>thank you sequ for betaing this mess i appreciate you</p></blockquote></div></div>
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